blanket apology to all the female celebrities i hated as a teenager because i was up to my eyeballs in internalized misogyny
ANIMALS THAT THINK THEY ARE OTHER ANIMALS WILL BE THE DEATH OF ME
First of all, you sound super nice and I have no clue as to why you’re single; You’re so “Nice!”
Oh wait, I do. You think being nice is the be all and the end. That bullshit needs to stop right there. Being nice is the minimum requirement.
'This film is terrible!' "But the picture is in focus and the dialogue is audible!"
'I don't know about this car…' "It’s got four wheels and an engine!"
'What is this? It tastes disgusting!' "IT WON’T GIVE YOU FOOD POISONING! WHY ARE YOU BEING SO PICKY!"
Niceness, at the end of the day, is worth nothing. It is unexemplary, because it’s just expected. If you think adhering to a baseline of humanity makes you appealing? That is ridiculous and not very nice of you.
Stand out, find your niche. Find out what you can offer someone. Because I bet all these “dickheads and assholes” all the women you put on pedestals* go out with have something to offer them. They aren’t being passively nice in the hopes that someone will fall for them.
*Also, stop putting women on pedestals. That’s gross and problematic. Women are your equals. They aren’t fucking prizes to be won, or idols to be adored, or accessories for you arm. They are humans.
And so what if you think you would be the perfect boyfriend for her? If she doesn’t agree, fucking drop it. Respect her choices.
Nice Guys®™ suffer from the delusion that life is just a very involved Legend of Zelda of Fetch quest. You bring the girl on the date with the flowers you collected, buy the right meal and the correct wine and bring her home and *result noise* you unlocked her vagina! Which is fucking bullshit. You can’t put in niceness tokens into a machine and expect a relationship to come out at the end.
If you aren’t appealing to women, they won’t date you. No amount of baseline niceness will change that. Niceness is boring and unremarkable. And in the case of Nice Guys®™ it’s utterly toxic.
Don’t be nice. Just be kind and have something to offer people besides that.
Also, relationships are in no way the key to unlocking a happy and successful life. Having a partner doesn’t wash away all the crap you were dealing with before. They’re just a person. Not a magic cure. Love is a four letter word, not an enchantment.
something reminded me of you today and while i won’t particularly say i’m glad about the way you left my life, i am glad you left when you did. it took a few months to know, but i am not a bad person for feeling emotions and expressing them. you are a bad person for allowing yourself to erase me from your good graces for a miscommunication. i kept trying to ask myself why i am too rash, too quick to anger and jealousy? but everyone feels this and i am not bad for feeling these. you are bad to exchange my humanity for your selfish and twisted point of view. you are so negative and such a rude person in general and i liked that because it also meant you were honest. but now i know that honesty doesn’t equate to truth, it only means you are clear about your opinions. and your opinion of me is wrong and i am so worthy of a better friend. he only good you did for me was being so upfront, albeit harsh and horrible, about how you felt. but i deserve better than you and the way you made me feel. and i don’t say that with bitterness in my heart or malice in my mind, i say it with the confidence of knowing my own self and valuing my being.
i’m an expert at having a really funny story to tell and then wording it badly enough that it’s not funny anymore
Things I will forever be upset about:
1. I don’t know what my Patronus is
2. I don’t know what Amortentia smells like to me
3. I don’t know what I’d see in the Mirror of Erised
4. I don’t know what my Boggart would be
5. I don’t know for sure what house I would be in
6. I don’t know the specifications of my wand are.